Yeah, that is right; the heading reads right... I'm that pissed with myself at the moment that I cannot believe I have become the person I am today. And why have I become this person??? I've become this person only because I had one thing go completely wrong in my life. ONE BAD RELATIONSHIP. I changed so drastically that it isn't funny in any manner.
I loved him but that creep lied to me, cheated and broke my trust and left me in the lurch. I guess he was pure mean and nothing else, not just hurting me but hurting many others. He cared about no one but himself. But the whole point is I allowed all this to damage me in a way that I saw a change in my personality. I lost the happy person I earlier was. I became snappy, extremely short tempered, pessimistic about myself, scared about my life and was someone who had little patience for nonsense. All this just because of ONE BLOODY mistake.
How did I realize all this? I came across a few SMS' which I had exchanged with my friends many years ago. I realized how much they loved me and I could clearly see the difference in my personality from then to now. I realized, I hated myself more than anything else at the moment. I detested the fact that I had become a person I did not like being. and for what?? just one wrong turn in my life.
I cannot understand how did I let all this happen to me? How did I become such a weak person to let something alter the fabric of my personality? I just can't seem to relate to the person I am today.
I have an amazing family, a really sweet boyfriend who has accepted me and my past just the way they are and friends who still care of me. How did I let this happen to me?? God!!! I feel so horrid, I just can't tell anyone. I feel like crying and hurting myself for letting one wrong guy change me in a way such that I sometimes even ended up hurting my loved ones :( .... I hate myself...
I loved him but that creep lied to me, cheated and broke my trust and left me in the lurch. I guess he was pure mean and nothing else, not just hurting me but hurting many others. He cared about no one but himself. But the whole point is I allowed all this to damage me in a way that I saw a change in my personality. I lost the happy person I earlier was. I became snappy, extremely short tempered, pessimistic about myself, scared about my life and was someone who had little patience for nonsense. All this just because of ONE BLOODY mistake.
How did I realize all this? I came across a few SMS' which I had exchanged with my friends many years ago. I realized how much they loved me and I could clearly see the difference in my personality from then to now. I realized, I hated myself more than anything else at the moment. I detested the fact that I had become a person I did not like being. and for what?? just one wrong turn in my life.
I cannot understand how did I let all this happen to me? How did I become such a weak person to let something alter the fabric of my personality? I just can't seem to relate to the person I am today.
I have an amazing family, a really sweet boyfriend who has accepted me and my past just the way they are and friends who still care of me. How did I let this happen to me?? God!!! I feel so horrid, I just can't tell anyone. I feel like crying and hurting myself for letting one wrong guy change me in a way such that I sometimes even ended up hurting my loved ones :( .... I hate myself...
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